8. How To Become A Better Partner

Hey family, it’s your guy Damian, and today I’m pulling back the curtain on the silent struggles men carry—the ones we never talk about.

You show up for your family, handle business at work, and lead with strength—but no one knows about the financial pressure, the self-doubt, and the weight of unspoken fears you carry behind closed doors.

In this episode, I’m exposing the hidden battles that leaders, fathers, husbands, and mentors face every day. I’m breaking down:

• Why men suffer in silence and how it destroys their leadership
• The pressure to be perfect as a dad, coach, or provider—and how it leads to burnout
• How to protect your identity beyond your role as a provider
• Five practical ways to lighten the load and lead with strength, not silence

Plus, I share a powerful clip from Dry Creek Dwayne, revealing why men feel unseen and unsupported—and how to change that.

If you’re a father, mentor, leader, or husband who’s been carrying it all on your own—or if you care about one—this episode is a must-listen. It’s time to stop leading in isolation and start building real support.

Listen now and share this with a man who needs to hear it. Let’s grow stronger together.

Transcript

 Most of us are walking around with pressure no one knows about, and we've gotten so good at carrying it that people think we are fine, but we are not. You're showing up at work, handling business, taking care of the house, but nobody knows you're drowning in financial stress. You're keeping the peace at home, being patient.

Showing up for your family, but inside you're tired of being a glue that's keeping everything together. If you give your man that type of motivation and gratitude, you will empower that man to run through a brick wall for you. There is nothing that man wouldn't do for you if he knew this is how you actually felt.

I am sorry fellas, but I had enough of this. I am exposing us today. I am here to tell. I am here to expose us. It is enough of this. I cannot sit back and allow us to continue to keep secrets and tell lies. I am exposing every single detail of the things that we hide, and we pretty much tell no one about.

We have secrets that we keep and we need to find an outlet to pretty much release some of these secrets and we have to find a way to take the burden off of us in a way. You ever feel like nobody knows what you're carrying? You walk through the door, you smile at your wife, you play with your kids, but they have no idea what is weighing you down.

The self-doubt. The stress, the thoughts that keep you up at night, because as men, we fight battles in silence and no one knows there's a war going on. Today. I'm pulling back the curtain on the struggles your family doesn't know about. The ones you don't talk about. Because if we're going to lead, right, we can't keep carrying this stuff alone.

We are going to need support. Let's be real. Most of us are walking around with pressure no one knows about, and we've gotten so good at carrying it that people think we are fine, but we are not. You are showing up at work, handling business, taking care of the house, but nobody knows. You're drowning in financial stress.

You're keeping the peace at home, being patient, showing up for your family, but inside you're tired of being the glue. That's keeping everything together. You're making decisions every day doing your best, but you still wonder if you're good enough. And the crazy part is you're so good at hiding it. No one even knows or even thinks to ask you if you're okay.

You ever had one of those nights where you're just staring up at the ceiling, your wife is sound asleep, sleeping peacefully too, got a little bit of drool, sliding out this corner of her mouth. Your kids are all tucked in, but you can't turn your mind off. This is something I suffer with almost on daily basis.

I'm just worried about so many things that I have to take care of. You are running numbers. You're second guessing your choices, you're replaying mistakes, and it's just you and your thoughts. You are carrying it alone, not because you want to, but because you don't know how not to. Here's another thing most men won't admit.

Sometimes we don't even know who we are anymore. You become the provider, the fixer, the doer. But when was the last time you thought about demand underneath all of it? You've spent so much time being who everyone needs you to be. You've forgotten who you are, man. You ever look in the mirror and think, who am I outside of all of this responsibility?

You are busy being strong for everyone else, but you're slowly losing yourself. And here's the scary part. You don't even realize it's happening until one day you wake up and feel empty like you've been running on autopilot for years. Let me hit you with something heavy. Hey guys, it's Damon. Yeah, I just wanted to hop in real quick and thank you for tuning into the show.

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You might be physically present, but emotionally absent. I hope you guys really know that is really a thing that you can be physically there. Mentally, you're totally somewhere else. In a way like this. You come home every night, you sit at the dinner table, you tuck your kids in, you talk to your wife, but you're really not there.

Your mind is still at work, still on the bills, still on that decision. You're replaying in your head. You're in the room, but you're miles away. Your wife may ask you, are you okay? And you say. Yeah, I'm just tired. But the truth is you're not tired, you're worn out, you're exhausted from carrying things she doesn't even know about.

I saw this clip on social media the other day and it was a man that goes by the name of Dry Creek Dwayne. He was on the Life Lessons in Modern Cowboy Podcast. He explained the things that men go through internally that women don't even know about. I may insert this clip here. What do you wish more women knew about how men operated?

Uh,

there's 10,000 times more going on inside the head of a man than you have any idea.

He's carrying burdens that you don't have a clue about, and he don't know how to express 'em and he don't know what to do about it. And he figures if he puts it out there and communicates it, he's just gonna be shot down called a fool, called weak. So he carries inside and you have no clue the burdens and the hell that most men are carrying inside and not even showing you.

I wish more women understood that. Now, I want to actually add to what he was saying. Let me talk about the thing that most men won't say out loud. That thing is, we are scared of failing the people we love the most. Failing as a husband, failing as a father, failing as a leader. You might not say it out loud, but you feel it.

The fear follows you everywhere. It's in the back of your mind when you're making decisions. It's the voice that says, what if you are not enough? You ever feel like you're doing everything you can, but it still doesn't feel like it's enough. Like no matter how hard you work, there's always a nagging feeling that you could be doing more.

More time. More money, more attention. And the worst part, when you fall short, even a little, you feel like you're letting them down. Even when they're not disappointed, you still carry the weight like they are disappointed. That is a trait that I carry. I am always looking to fulfill and be almost perfect when it comes down to how I handle my family, how I show up for them, and when I fall short.

I am extremely disappointed in myself and I could see that rubbing off on my kids, especially my youngest son. He is six years old and he feels like he should get everything right the first time. If he doesn't get it right, he is extremely disappointed and he is pissed with himself. Right? I understand where he's coming from 'cause he takes that trait from me.

But as adults, as men, as leaders, you're expected to lead. But most of the time you're leading alone. You're making the tough calls, but no one sees how hard they are. You're being strong, but no one sees how often you feel weak. You are showing up and you're doing exactly what you signed up for. You signed up to be a leader.

You wholeheartedly take on your position as such. But the truth is, sometimes we feel overwhelmed. We feel alone because even when you're standing in a room full of people, you feel like no one understands what you are carrying. But the truth is they do. I want you guys to check this clip out of a wife that was given her husband gratitude and appreciation.

For the things that he was actually doing at home, doing for the family, and just doing in the relationship period. Check this out. We're thriving because of you. Like I'm able to get a new phone because of you. I'm able to go get my eyes tested and get new glasses from because of you. I'm able to have somebody come in here and clean because of you.

I'm able to make a meal for not just our family, but Crystal and Brett because of you. Like you are not just keeping us afloat, you're driving us and I appreciate you so much. Like you, the way you lavish your love on us is insane. Like you take such good care of us, you are such an incredible provider.

And I don't just mean financially like you are incredible provider for our family. Like I had expectations of what you were gonna be like and you have far surpassed them. Like I am overwhelmed with what a great provider you are for our family. I'm so blessed and I'm so grateful that you're my husband.

Now that we've watched that clip, ladies, I wanna let you in on a little secret here. I want you to know this. Here and don't tell the guys I told you this. If you give your man that type of motivation and gratitude, you will empower that man to run through a brick wall for you. There is nothing that man wouldn't do for you if he knew this is how you actually felt.

A lot of us go through our relationships, our marriages, whatever it is, without ever hearing our wives. Give us that type of boost without our wis ever putting that type of battery in our back. Listen, that man will run through a brick wall for you. He would climb mountains, whatever he needs to, to make sure you're good, because all he needs to know is that you feel gratitude and you support what he's doing, and you are grateful for the work that he's putting in.

Men, here's what you can do to make your burdens lighter. Because sitting in silence, that's not leadership, that's actually self-destruction. Here are five ways to actually get ahead of the game. Number one, drop the I'm Fine Act. Saying You're fine or you're not. You can't lead with strength. If you're falling apart in silence, find a person, a friend, a mentor, a counselor, your wife, and talk Real men just don't handle it.

Sometimes it's way more powerful than us. Sometimes we do need some outside. Help real men face whatever issues they have to face. Bottom line. Number two, protects your identity. You're not just a provider or a problem solver. You are a man with passions, interests, and purpose outside of what you do for others.

Start making time for yourself again, whether it is reading, working out, or picking up an old hobby. You can't pour into others if you are running on empty. Number three, learn to be present when you walk in the door. Leave work at the door. Take 10, 15 minutes alone. When you get home, reset your mind. When your wife or kids talk, put down the phone and look them in the eyes and listen.

Be there because they don't just need you around. They need you engaged. They want to be interacting with you. They want to, you know, talk to daddy, the wife wants to talk to her husband. You get home sometimes and you get the tea. Your wife comes home and she wants to give you the rundown on the day's events.

Man, listen bro, just take time. Listen to it, get engaged with it. Number four, find some like-minded men that you can get around men who will hold you accountable, challenge you, support you. Build a circle of brothers, just sharpen you, not just sympathize with you. Right? Number five, stop aiming for perfect.

Lead with love. You're going to mess up. You're going to fall short. But your family doesn't need you to be flawless. They need you to be faithful. They need you to keep showing up even when you are tired. All right, my brothers, here's your challenge for the week. Be real with yourself. Take 15 minutes, write down the thoughts that you've been carrying, but not sharing.

Have one real conversation. Call a friend. Sit down with your wife. Talk to someone. Let them in. Number three, be present on purpose this week when your family's talking to you. Be there fully. No phone, no distractions, just you and them because the best thing you could do for your family isn't just to give them money or your protection.

It's your presence. Now, that is all I have for you guys today. Before we wrap up, I wanna leave this with you. This podcast has grown, but we need your help to reach more people. If you've been listening to finding value in these episodes, don't just watch, take action, download episodes, leave a rating, drop a comment, and I need you all to subscribe.

That is how we get this message out to more leaders who need it. Your support makes a difference when you engage. It helps push the podcast further. Reaching the leaders out there that are looking for real leadership guidance. So do your part rate and share with another man who is ready to lead. And always remember to look at your family and say, call me first.