1. Do You Want to be A Great Father and Husband? Here is How”

A man without purpose is a man without direction. If you don’t know where you’re going, how can you lead your family, your business, or yourself? Too many men drift through life, reacting instead of leading. Real leaders move with purpose.

In this powerful first episode of Call Me First, host Damian Lewis breaks down why having a clear vision is the foundation of strong leadership—whether at home, in business, or in life. If you feel stuck, unmotivated, or unsure of your next step, this episode will help you find clarity, take control, and start leading with intention.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

.Why purpose is the #1 trait of great leaders
.The biggest mistake men make when trying to lead their families
.How vision fuels confidence, discipline, and long-term success
. A simple, actionable exercise to define YOUR personal vision today

. It’s time to stop living on autopilot and start leading with purpose. Your family, your future, and your legacy depend on it.

. Hit play now and take the first step toward becoming a leader with real vision!

. Don’t forget to subscribe for more episodes on leadership, fatherhood, and personal growth!

#Leadership #Purpose #Vision #Fatherhood #MensGrowth #SuccessMindset #CallMeFirstPodcast

Transcript

 Welcome to the very first episode of call me first, the attitude of men that are leaders, men, this podcast is for us, for the fathers, the brothers, the husbands, the mentors, and the sons who are striving to be better leaders, not just in title, but in how we show up for those who look to us for guidance.

Just to be clear, this isn't about leading armies or corporations, though some principles may apply, but it's about something far more impactful. Leading the people who matter the most. Our families. I'm your host, Damian Lewis and I'm by no means a relationship guru or coach. My objective is to walk right beside you as we become better within ourselves as men and as leaders.

This is about self development where we learn more so that we can return more to our families. The title, Call Me First, is a statement, one that says, when obstacles arise, when challenges come their way, your family, your team, should look to you first for answers, guidance, and support. Leadership isn't a destination, it's a mindset, an attitude even.

I want to be upfront and address something that most of us struggle with, which is change. This program is about becoming better, which means change must happen within. Now, with that being said, let's get ready to change. Today, in episode one of what I know will be a very impactful and life changing season for all of us, we're diving into the foundation of it all.

What it means to actually embody the attitude of a leader and the challenges we face as men when stepping into this role. We're going to learn why every man, every leader needs a vision to lead with purpose, because without it, you're not leaving, you're wandering. And trust me, your family will feel it, even if you don't realize it.

Now, I think a lot of us, when we think about leadership, we imagine the obvious stuff, being the head of the family, making the decisions. Providing for those who you love and all that's true, but leadership goes much deeper than that. It's about guiding those who look to you. It's about an intentional action that moves your family forward.

But here's the thing. You can't guide your family if you don't have a destination in mind. That's like trying to drive somewhere without a map, without any street signs, without ways, without MapQuest, whatever it is, right? You wouldn't know where you're going. How would you know where you're going? You would be lost.

Am I right? And that's something that we can't do as leaders. Leadership isn't about being the loudest in the room or make it all the right calls. It's about giving your family the confidence. That no matter what happens, you know where you're going and you're taking them with you. Hey, it's Damien. I just wanted to hop in real quick and let you guys know if you're getting value from this episode, do me a favor, pause for a quick second and take action.

Hit that follow button so you never miss an episode. Download this episode so you can listen to it anytime. And if there's something here that resonates with you, save it and share with another man who needs to hear this. The best way to grow is together. Now let's get back at it. We are faced with a lot of struggles when it comes to becoming better leaders.

It's not easy. Leadership requires constant growth and growth is uncomfortable. That makes me think of a situation like this. You're in a gym, you're working on bicep curls. This is all you're doing today for that day in the gym, right? This is all you're doing and you're in the gym hour and a half and you basically just been working on biceps that whole time.

You leave the gym, you go to your car, your cell phone rings, you go to go pick your cell phone up and you can't bring your phone to your ear because your muscle is swollen from growing, right? It's just hard to do because it's uncomfortable. But the end result is something promising, which is leadership is going to be uncomfortable in the beginning, but you're actually learning as you go along, because you become more experienced too often as men, we're not really encouraged to talk about these struggles.

We think we're supposed to have it all figured out. So what are some of the issues we face and develop in leadership? There are three issues that come to me today. Lack of direction, self doubt, and failing to prioritize what matters the most. Let's start with lack of direction. When you don't know where you're headed, you can't lead anyone effectively.

Every day starts to feel like a blur. You wake up, go to work, come home, repeat. Without a vision, leadership becomes reactive instead of proactive. You're just handling things as they come. But not necessarily moving towards anything that will make a real impact. How many of us actually makes sure that our cars, our automobiles are covered with some type of roadside assistance?

How many of us make sure that our wives or children's cars are coupled with AAA or some type of roadside assistance? These are the things that we need to be proactive about to make sure that we have a way to actually still protect our families in case of emergency, such as a breakdown or anything like that.

That is something that will be proactive, making sure you know where the closest mechanic is, make sure you have the local tow truck's telephone number. These are things that are proactive. These are things that your family looks to you for to make sure you have these things in place. Now, I want you to really think about this.

If you're constantly just reacting to things, how much time are you actually spending on the things that matter the most? How much energy are you investing in the direction you want your family to go? The problem is that without a purpose, your family can't depend on you to lead them towards something meaningful because they don't know what you're leading them to.

That's the bottom line. And as a man, this is where it becomes critical. To make sure your vision is clear, not just to you, but for the entire family, right? The second issue is self doubt and insecurity. This one gets to a lot of us. If you're not clear about your purpose, it's easy to fall into self doubt.

You'll start questioning your decisions, your actions, and whether you are actually cut out to be the leader of your family. I've been in myself. There were times that I was one enough. I was doing enough, especially after all the mistakes I made earlier in life at the time of this recording. I'm about seven days away from the age of 40.

Well, I feel like I'm not as far as I would like to be right because I have such high goals and expectations for myself. And I was having a conversation with a friend of mine the other day, and I was explaining this very situation to them and how doubtful I was feeling about my leadership and where I was actually bringing my family.

This friend went on to pretty much look at everything that I had going for myself and pretty much laid out a roadmap for me to show me where I came from or where I am now. And even though I had that self doubt, I was still grateful when I really looked at how far I came in life. And it's a thing that we're all going to face that one time or another.

But if you lead correctly, if you lead with a purpose, you won't be held down by that self doubt, you'll find a way out because you'll look at all the things that you have done in the past to get your family to where they are right now. As a young man, I felt unprepared, I often doubted myself even as a youngster, wondered was I good enough to lead.

These insecurities just didn't affect me. They trickled down into how I led my family. My actions were sometimes clouded by fear, hesitation, self doubt, which is not something you want your kids or spouse to see, right? Don't get me wrong. You have to show emotions and be human from time to time, but we still need to show a sense of strength when it comes down to adversity, right?

But here's the truth. We're all human, and no one has it all figured out. The key is to not let that self doubt stop you from moving forward. Every leader has had their share of doubts. What separates the ones who succeed is the ability to keep pushing even when the doubt is there. Myron Golden often talks about the importance of just showing up and doing the work, even when it doesn't feel perfect.

It's not about being flawless. It's about being consistent and determined. You just gotta have a plan. The third issue on my list for today is failing to prioritize what matters. A man without a purpose often struggles with what's most important. You'll find yourself distracted, saying yes to work, friends, hobbies, and everything else.

Until one day, you realize that your family has been left behind. Your children are growing up, your wife is feeling disconnected, and you're wondering where the time went. Without a purpose, it is easy to lose sight of what really matters. Here's a reality check. Your work, your social life, your hobbies, those things are important.

But they should never take the place of your family. Your family needs to know that they are your top priority. The moment you lose sight of that and let work or other distractions take over, that's when you start to lose your leadership influence at home. Think about it. If you're not prioritizing your family, who will your kids look up to you?

Your wife depends on you. You need to be there to provide the guidance and leadership they need. If your focus is on everything but your family, you risk missing out on the moments that truly matter. Now, here's the thing. These challenges just don't go away. They don't get better on their own. If you keep going without a clear purpose, without knowing your why, Setting yourself up for frustration and missed opportunity and that's not just you who suffers your family feels it too.

I want to talk about how these challenges really show up in our lives and I'm going to get personal for a second. I was born in Jamaica, right? I stayed in Jamaica from birth until I was about eight years old. Growing up in Jamaica for that short period of time, I learned a lot about hard work and responsibility from my mom.

She was tough, independent. She made sure I understood that it wasn't about what you wanted. It was about what you needed to do. But I also saw that she had to sacrifice. My father, on the other hand, He moved to the United States when I was probably maybe about two or three years old, he had a vision or plans and aspirations of supporting us from abroad and eventually bringing us to the U S well, his plans didn't go exactly how he would have liked while he did send money gifts and visited from time to time.

He wasn't really physically present. I missed out a lot of leadership lessons I could have learned from him. I didn't get the hands on male strong role model that would have showed me how to navigate life and how to build something lasting. In a lot of ways, my father's absence left a gap in my life.

Even when we moved to the United States with him, he still wasn't the best role model. He had a life that really didn't prioritize family. And without his leadership, I actually became the kind of kid who was constantly testing boundaries. Getting into trouble, acting out, and even though my mom was doing her best to teach me responsibility, I didn't have a steady male influence to show me the way.

Looking back, I can see how much that affected me during that era. I needed a vision for my life that was bigger than short term distractions that I was getting caught up in, but I didn't have it. And it cost me a lot. I struggled with majority and leadership for years. I didn't know my purpose and it showed.

But the key takeaway here is I wasn't aware of the consequences that my actions had at the time. The absence from my father's leadership hurt, but what hurt more was not understanding how much leadership truly matter until later in life. A few weeks ago, no, not even a few weeks ago, maybe about a week ago today, I came back from a trip to Jamaica doing that trip.

I went with a few family members. It was my dad, my mom, and two of my brothers, both my brothers. And my mom stayed with the family. But my dad and I, we're like rebels. So we decided to like stay in like an Airbnb. So we stayed in the Airbnb. I actually got to spend some time with my dad and kick it with the old man.

He's 72 years old. Now we spent some time together. And one day I could tell you, my dad's memory is amazing. For 72 years old. His memory is amazing. I'm 39 and be 40 in a few days. And my memory is not that good. But what happened during that trip was I got to bond with my dad and the way that I never bonded with my dad before I kicked the wood and we had conversations and I learned some things about his past and stories that I never heard before.

What it did was it gave me a different outlook on my dad. And here it is. My dad never had a blueprint to this either. He never had anyone to really show him how to be a leader or how to be a dad. He was just going by what he saw out and about. So what he saw wasn't the ideal way of leading. And he felt victim to that anyway, because he didn't know any better.

Some might say, so how do you know better? Right? The thing is I have access to computers and TV, but I can actually see what a model dad should look like. Right. And just by watching how some people fail at being a dad, you kind of realize. Or get the ins and outs of what not to do. Right. So I got to give him my dad is grace right now that in his older age and my old age and maturity kicked in, we are really close now during my twenties and early thirties, we weren't as tight.

Right. But over the last couple of years, I got real close with my dad and, you know, got to spend some time with him, actually learned more of who he is. And like I said before, he never had a blueprint either. He made a bunch of mistakes and I don't hold him to it to this day right now. I don't hold him to it.

I understand where those mistakes came in and understand how it happened. Right. But what I'm taking away from this is I'm not going to make the mistakes that he did. Right. And I think he'll be proud of me for even expressing that part of life now. So how do we fix all of this? How do we become better as leaders the leaders that our families need us to be it all starts with defining your purpose?

What is your why what is driving you? What do you want your life to stand for when you do have that clear purpose? everything else follows Here's the thing about purpose. It doesn't have to be grandiose. It doesn't have to be about changing the world, but it does need to be something that moves you.

Something that makes you excited to take action. When you're clear on your purpose, you're able to prioritize what really matters. You stop being distracted by everything else. But let me be real. Purpose requires sacrifice. Leadership often requires giving up on things that don't align with your purpose.

It could be spending less time on hobbies, cutting out distractions, or even taking on extra work to provide for the family. You may not always see the results right away, but that sacrifice is what shows your family that you're committed. You know, I can't stress this enough. This is something that I've had to learn the hard way.

When I was younger, I wasn't ready to be the man I needed to be for my family, meaning in my 20s and 30s. I was stuck in my ways. I was stubborn. I didn't want to change. And the truth is, that held me back. My previous relationships suffered because of it. I didn't understand leadership or responsibilities, right?

But when I got serious about my purpose, when I realized that I couldn't keep repeating the same mistakes, that's when things started to shift. I took a year off from dating and relationships, period, just to work on myself and to make sure that I was ready to be the husband my future wife would have needed.

That year of self reflection was tough, but it set me on the right path. It led me to marriage. My wife and children now have received the best version of me to date, and I'm still improving. I want to give this family, my family, exactly what they signed up for, a leader. Now I'm going to give you four actionable steps to find your why.

So here's what I want you to do right now. Now it's your turn. I want you to write down your why. No distractions, grab a pen and paper or your phone, write down exactly why you're doing what you're doing every day. Why are you a father? Why are you a husband? What's the vision you have for your family, right?

Next, I want you to be specific about your vision. Don't just say, I want my family to be happy. What does that even look like? What kind of life do you want to build for them? What do you want your kids to say about you when they're older? The more specific you can be, the better. Next, set some short term goals.

What can you do this week to move your family towards a better vision? Or about what can you do this year? What's the first steps you're going to take when building this vision? When you break your big vision down into smaller, manageable pieces, you will find it easier to take consistent action, right?

Next, share your vision with your family. Let them know exactly what you're working towards. Make sure they know that you have a purpose. And when your family sees that you're clear about what you're doing and where you're going, they'll be more likely to follow. That's all I have for you guys today.

Thank you for tuning into the first episode of call me first. I hope this episode helps you understand the importance of purpose and leadership. If you found value in this tune into some of the other episodes, I'll be releasing a new episode every week. Make sure to subscribe, download until next time, I want you to look at your family and say, call me first.